Do No Harm

I'm sorry, Mr. Mosquito, but I will never love you. It's not me, it's definitely you.

When I was in elementary school, I heard a story that flabbergasted me. Apparently, some kid, somewhere, saw a mosquito land on their arm and had an idea. Instead of smacking it, they squeezed the flesh around it vigorously, forcing more blood into the insect than it could handle. The bug exploded in blood. From the moment I found this out, I was determined to do it myself. It was appealing for two reasons. First, it seemed like a certain form a justice. The mosquito, who was trying to take the blood that my body had worked so hard to produce, was destroyed by its own actions. Secondly, it just seemed awesome. It isn’t very often that you get to see things explode in blood (unless you played Area 51 in the arcade). Unfortunately, I never achieved my goal. Whenever a mosquito landed on my arm, I smacked it instinctively. To this day, I still don’t know if the myth is true. This is an awful representation of one of my favorite Larson comics, but the concept is the same: popping mosquitos.

I guess the only thing that this story proves is that I probably could never be a Jain. I’m sure I could prevent myself from slapping it if I were “drugged to insensibility”, as Kipling observes the Janis doing when they enter the room in which they feed the vermin, but one fact remains: if I ever see a mosquito biting me and I don’t slap it, I will most certainly squeeze the skin around it. And, if it pops, I will probably do it every time.

Despite my acceptance of my inability to practice the religion, I have wondered if it would be possible to live a completely Jain life in America. I immediately realized that I couldn’t live in a house; termites alone would prevent this, because it is illegal to live in a house without a solid build. I couldn’t live in a city, because pollution is deleterious to animal health, and the lights cause countless moth deaths each night. I also determined that any use of plastic would be a violation, because to produce it requires petroleum drilling, transport, packaging, etc…all of these things would probably involve some sort of animal death. Jains “are dissuaded from throwing any waste into river and lakes”, and I’m certain that at least one of the workers handling any manufactured product would disregard this sentiment. So, the only setting I could find that fit the bill involved living in isolation in a handmade shelter.

This would be my home. Seems nice, but it might get old.

Although living in a shelter would be fun, it seems a little extreme. For some reason I can never find myself feeding a “a host of vermin, as dense as the sands on the sea-shore”, as described in “Jain Animal Shelters”. I can never see myself feeling compassion for parasitic worms that can cause people extreme pain (a picture will be omitted because it is unnecessary imagery). I can respect people that have adopted such an intense respect for animals, but it seems unnecessary to me. Insects and other “pests” have already evolved to compensate for their short lives: mass-production. My view on this extent of compassion will never change, so I guess Jainism just isn’t for me.

Sorry buddies, I'm still going to squish you if you try to eat my food!