Figure 1: An interesting take on the relationship between light and dark. The importance of having both “light" and "dark", as well as many other similar motifs, is repeated in many teachings, and are seen as necessary for a balanced universe.
“All the voices belonged together: the lamentation of yearning and the laughter of the wise one, the scream of rage and the moaning of the dying ones. All was one, and everything was intertwined and connected…All of it together was the flow of events and music of life.”[1] Unity, as explained by Siddhartha, is the essence of existence. Without accepting the necessity of darkness, the contrast of discord, or the pain of suffering, one cannot fully appreciate or even realize the existence of all that is good in the world. In my composition, as well as in my life, it is my goal to not only accept, but embrace the contrast that the world provides. With this in mind, I created this song that captures the journey I have taken through UT. Many aspects of my persona have changed since high school, and this composition is an attempt to explain my new self in an abstract way.
The song begins with a quiet and eerie chord progression that wanders between major and minor chords. The melody starts on the tritone, a notoriously dissonant interval, and weaves down to form more standard harmonies. To me, this represents the fact that life, though it has its high and low points, is generally hard to classify. When I first arrived at UT, my experience was one of confusion and apprehension. The excitement of independence, new friends, and success in some courses was coupled with feelings of isolation, some lonely days, and academic challenges. I wandered through each day not knowing if I was going to be successful or make mistakes. I was bombarded with so many new experiences and so much information that I barely had time to register progress; the melodic line of the introduction reflects this, as it goes between landing on bright and dark chords.
As the piece goes on, I made an effort to move the progression to unexpected chords for two reasons: The first is that college put me in situations that I wasn’t used to reacting to. It was during these times that I learned the most about myself. After receiving a very low mark on my first paper for this class and struggling to impress my studio teacher, I found that I do have a strong emotional connection with my academic success. I was furious at the grades I was receiving, but I realized that I couldn’t change them by force. My next reaction was to let the stress overcome me, and I began to rely on afternoon naps from stress-induced fatigue. It didn’t take me long to realize that this was also a deleterious method to deal with the hardship, so I changed once again. From that moment on, I learned to deal with the shortcomings by working harder in the future; I realized that the purpose of education isn’t to pass through with flying colors, but to build up my knowledge slowly and thoughtfully. The second reason that the unexpected chord changes are relevant is because I found that when I put myself in new situations, the results could be gratifying. Because I was out of state, I had not a single acquaintance to fall back on, and an outgoing nature was essential. For the first time since first grade I was walking up to strangers and introducing myself. Slowly but surely, by stepping out of my comfort zone and putting myself out there, I built many meaningful relationships with my fellow Longhorns.
Apparently this movie is titled "Revenge for a Bad Grade"...I quickly learned that the response to acadamic struggle is not to fight it, but to learn from it. No bloody cellos for me.At two minutes and twenty-two seconds, the song transitions into a darker melody. This part of the composition represents the middle of the semester, when all of my classes were in full swing. This was a very challenging time for me academically; socially I was comfortable, and I had a supportive group of friends, but architecture was extremely difficult. Demanding and frequent projects consumed my free time, and I became enveloped by schoolwork. During this stage of college, I found that when I needed to, I could push myself to heights that I previously believed to be unreachable. During one particular week, I had two projects and three important papers due. With almost no sleep, I was able to not only complete everything, but to also improve in all of my classes. From that moment on I have been comforted by the knowledge that, when necessary, I can thrive under extreme pressure. The melody follows this realization: it is a dark, minor section of the song because of the challenges I faced, but the melody remains controlled and restrained.
The song moves to a brighter section, and slowly merges back into the original theme. This parallels the relief brought on by winter break and the fact that I did well on my finals. The basic, harmonious chords illustrate comforting sensations of being back home with my family, friends, and dog. As the restful break drew to an end, apprehension for the coming semester began to build—thus the return to the drifting introductory melody. However, the melody departs from the original one and slowly builds into a more uplifting chord progression. This parallels the emotions I felt upon returning to UT; as I got back into the swing of things, I realized how much I had learned and found I had much more confidence in myself. The hardships I had experienced during the first semester prepared me for the next semester in ways that I hadn’t noticed. My demeanor was one of relaxed confidence: whatever was coming, whatever needed to be done, no matter how challenging, was something I could handle. I began making time to enjoy myself, put more emphasis on my social life and recreational activities, and realized that my work load, though much more demanding than many of my peers, was not going to control my experience at UT.
At about five minutes and twenty-five seconds, the music changes into a quiet, building melody. The notes become faster and louder, until they finally explode into a joyous chorus. Hopefully, the end of the semester will follow the current vector I am on, and reflect the ending of my piece. The path I have taken since the first semester, as the piece symbolizes, has been convoluted and challenging, discouraging and inspiring. With my newfound confidence, my ability to more positively react to struggles, and my new outlook on the patience required for an education has made this semester infinitely more bearable. The piece winds down slowly, and has some dark chords mixed in to show that, even as a stronger person, there will still be challenges ahead. The final chord ends on a fourth, as opposed to the root, or “home” chord. These final notes, as they slowly die out, show that the song of my life is far from ending. If it is up to me, I hope the future is as unexpected and amazing as this year has been.
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