Why We Do What We Do

HOBOS THINK OF A LOT OF WAYS TO GET ME TO GIVE THEM MONEY...BUT DO THEY EVER THINK OF ME?

It is amazing to think about the staggering amount of people on our planet. It is not the numbers that impress me; humans have been extremely prolific by biological standards, but this feat is diminished in comparison to the resiliency of the cockroach. No, the thing about humans that baffles me is this: every person I see is leading a life that is as important to them as mine is to me. I know that this only makes me sound vain, but it always amazes me when I sit and ponder it. The bum that just asked me for some change (they even specifically tell me that it’s for beer here in Austin)? Normally I just say “sorry man” and keep walking without even a hitch in my stride. I’ve even mastered the whole putting-hands-in-pockets-and-shrugging gig. Sometimes after I walk by, however, I wonder what the rat is thinking about me as I pass. At first I think that he is thinking “What a jerk. He probably has change. He doesn’t even care to try to help me.” But to be honest, he probably doesn’t give half a poo about who I am. He just wants his beer. I then begin to speculate about what everyone thinks of me as I walk by. I don’t think it’s cynical to assume that not a single person I pass thinks about my life story in the slightest—which is all dandy, because I usually return the favor. This is where I get the funny feeling in my tummy; not a single person I see throughout my day cares about my life, and I rarely care about theirs, a far stretch from Gods command to “love one another…as I have loved you.”[1] With billions of people like this all over the planet, it is hard to imagine how—or why—we manage to accomplish the things that we do.

So, despite our general apathy towards each other, we still manage to make some astounding things. A combustion engine, a crane, a cell phone, nuclear power plants…these things that we take for granted are amazing bits of technology. Our highly developed capacity for intellect has allowed us to master our domain and harvest the power that nature has to offer. I am not implying that humans are necessarily superior to animals or nature, but this is a vast difference between our motives. As David Lurie states, “We are of a different order of creation from the animals. Not higher, necessarily, just different.”[2] While an animal is content with food, a mate, and shelter, man wants more food, more mates, and better shelter. There is no question about whether we can achieve this or not, but Dana has brought up an interesting point: do we deserve it?

WE ARE STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHO IS DOMINANT.

After thinking about it, I realized that it doesn’t really matter. For in the end, does anything really matter? Virgo alludes to the inevitable rhythm of nature in his poem “Pollio”, saying “Erunt etiam altera bella, atque iterum ad Troiam magnus mittetur Achilles. Hinc, ubi iam fermata uirum te fecerit aetas, cedet et ipse mari uector, nec nautical pinus mutabit merces (New wars too shall arise, and once again some great Achilles to some Troy be sent. Then, when the mellowing years have made thee man, no more shall mariner sail, nor pine-tree bark play traffic on the sea, but every land shall all things bear alike).”[3] It is my belief that eventually the human race will die off or evolve, thus nullifying the issues that we grapple with each day. But until then, the real question is this: does anything deserve anything? What does a flower do to justify its existence? When has any organism proven to be essential to the existence of the universe? The obvious answer is never, and to the “real” question, the answer is no. Regardless, I don’t think that this means we should give up on living. If we make the effort to lead compassionate lives, entitlement becomes irrelevant.

But can we ever lead compassionate lives? (See this link for the dramatic ending: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1Y73sPHKxw)

http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=world%20ending&rls=com.microsoft:*:IE-Address&oe=UTF-8&sourceid=ie7&rlz=1I7GWYE&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wv#q=galaxy+colliding&hl=en&emb=0

EVENTUALLY WE WILL BE AT THE MERCY OF PHYSICS, BUT UNTIL THEN WE ARE AT THE MERCY OF EACH OTHER...

[1] A132, John 13:34.
[2] A 77
[3] A 124

Pee Pee 3

“Are you going to change?” I asked. Ben Warren, a friend who lives in my hall, and I were going to ascend the UT tower on a warm autumn day. “Why?” he asked me with a puzzled look. It was Saturday afternoon, and we had been watching the UT football game on TV. We were both wearing sweatpants and slippers. “You can’t just wear sweatpants and slippers around,” I explained. Again he replied, “Why?” After thinking for a moment, I realized that I couldn’t think of a good reason other than “no one else does.” So we headed out to the tower in our sweatpants and slippers. I’m not sure if the outfit was directly responsible, but that day turned out to be one of the most enjoyable weekends of the school year. After the tour, we met up with some other kids from our hall and ate pizza before going to see the new James Bond flick at the cinema. The entire day I felt relaxed and carefree. The next day I reflected on the occasion to try to figure out what made Saturday so pleasant. Eventually I realized that it was the first time in a long time that I had spent an entire day simply relaxing. In fact, it had been a while since I had done anything for the sole purpose of enjoying myself. The experience was so rewarding that I decided to make a deliberate effort each week to do the same thing. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

I CAN TELL THAT THIS GUY IS READY TO HAVE A GREAT DAY. THE ONLY THINGS THAT COULD MAKE IT BETTER ARE SLIPPERS.

The fateful “sweatpants day” inspired me to reexamine my priorities, and has had a profound effect on my persona. Prior to the incident, I had been stuck in a rut of apathy. During my senior year in high school I managed to suppress my capacity for emotions. Applying for college was a somewhat traumatic experience, and for me there was a narrow margin of success. It had been my goal ever since I thought about the college experience to attend a school out of state. I had no qualms with the University of New Mexico, but the fact that I lived 3 minutes away from campus seemed to detract from the college experience I envisioned. In order to attend an out of state school, my parents informed me that I would need to receive enough scholarships to cover all of tuition. Although I wasn’t hopeless, the sheer difficulty of the task was intimidating and frustrating. In order to protect myself from disappointment, I adopted an apathetic view. The process was slow, but my subconscious defense mechanism was thorough; by the second semester of senior year, I didn’t have any strong feelings about anything. This is hardly an exaggeration. When I found out that I received the Dedman Scholarship, I had very limited emotional response. The lack of excitement made me feel uneasy about my decision to attend UT—was I making the right choice? Even when I tried to figure out why I felt uneasy about the decision, I dismissed the endeavor with the expression that seemed to define my existence: “whatever.”

I FELT LIKE I HAD AS MUCH EMOTION AS THIS GUY. IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN, I RECOMMEND IT--THOUGH IT IS DISTURBING.

Emotional awareness is something that I feel is intrinsic to happiness. When I forget to take a step back and examine how my actions make me feel, I inevitably feel overwhelmed. Since the beginning of this semester I have made a conscious effort to spend at least an hour a day doing something that I enjoy. One of my favorite activities is composing songs for piano. Lately, I have nocied a change in the way I approach composition, and I believe it is because of my newly egained emotional capacity. This may sound strange to non-composers, but for the first time in years I am able to hear songs I want to compose before I play them. Although it is possible for me to write songs by following music theory and generic chord progressions, pieces derived from this mechanical process are never fully satisfying to produce. I would even complain to friends about this stagnant form of composition, saying that I felt as if I was playing the same song over and over again. With my new approach, the song is driven by my feelings and intuitions instead of a rule or known chord change. The resulting songs are remarkably more personal. If the music I produce is any measure of my emotional health—and I believe it is—then my demeanor has improved tremendously from senior year.

FINALLY, I REALIZED THE SECRET TO COMPOSITION--EXPRESSING EMOTIONS!

One aspect of emotional intelligence that I have focused on since this assignment has been embracing my academic successes. My typical response to grades (especially from architecture) is to dismiss them; if I receive a low mark, I immediately put it behind me and focus on the next project—if I receive a high mark, I do the same. With this method I never fully appreciated the lessons that can be learned from each assignment. Instead I tread tirelessly through each course, working on each project as if it is pointless, nonessential busywork that stands between me and my degree. On Tuesday, we turned in two drawings in which we drafted parts from model airplane kits. At the end of the review, my drawings were selected to hang in the lobby of the school. My immediate response was to ignore the obvious compliment. “I can’t believe they chose mine; there are so many better ones. Whatever.” On my way back to the studio, several students congratulated me on my success. After the third compliment, I realized that there was something fundamentally wrong with my response. It was almost as if I was refusing to rejoice in my success so I wouldn’t be disappointed when my work wasn’t selected from the next assignment. What, then, was I working for? If I didn’t strive to be noticed and praised by the professors, I was setting myself up for failure; even if I produced high-quality work, there was no reward. I decided to enjoy the spotlight, and called my number one fans for a little encouragement. “They’re putting them in the FRONT? Send me a picture! Here, tell Dad,” exclaimed my mother. Their excitement fueled mine, and the endless work demanded by architecture seemed slightly less trivial.

ONE OF MY DRAWINGS THAT WAS SELECTED TO HANG IN THE LOBBY. I'VE REALIZED THAT ITS OK TO BE PROUD OF MY SUCCESSES!

If I haven’t made it clear already, I want to state it plainly: I am happy. By turning inwards and sorting things out in my own heart, I have gained an awareness of the emotions all around me. For example, last Sunday I attended church after constant pressure from my mom. I am still working out what I believe myself, and have dubious feelings about the role of the church. Most of the time I feel that mass is pointless and only attended out of obligation, but I saw something during the ceremony that erased my doubts. During one of the songs, the man in front of me was singing along quietly. He was moving subtly with the music, which at first annoyed me. As I watched, mostly to see if he was going to annoy me more, he turned his head slightly and I could see that he was smiling. Immediately my emotions changed; this man was happy, and whether it was because of the song, his faith, or the community around him was irrelevant. I was overcome with happiness, and I realized that the church, regardless of my qualms, was an essential part of the world for this reason alone. Even if there is no God, even if faith is as pointless as our human existence, it brings people happiness and guidance and love, and there is no basis to destroy an institution that provides these things. Each day I notice instances that resemble my church experience; the world, though it has its ugly sides, is full of beautiful things.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ztkd6VP8vHw&feature=related

LISTEN IN PARTICULAR TO THE PART WHERE HE DESCRIBES BEAUTY FLOWING THROUGH HIM--THIS DESCRIPTION INSPIRED ME TO LOOK FOR IT IN EVERYDAY LIFE. BELIEVE IT OR NOT, ITS THERE.

I have decided to make it my priority to enjoy these things. Don’t get me wrong—I do get upset, annoyed, and have every desire to experience the full range of human emotion. My intention is to embrace everything for what it is, and realize that it all comes together to form our tragically futile lives. Every day we are faced with decisions regarding our emotional states. It is easy to dwell on our failures, become irate with mistakes and incompetence, or curse the injustice that seems to pervade our existence. However, it is just as easy to realize that shortcomings can be improved, that people are all doing their best to enjoy what they have, and to make a positive effort to deal with the situations we find ourselves in. I know, it sounds cheesy. But if you do it right, by staying honest with yourself and true to your emotions, the happiness is real—and worth it.

The Afterlife

WHAT IS HEAVEN? A RAINBOW OVER A WHITE CASTLE?

A few weeks ago, during one of our discussions we were asked to imagine being dead. I closed my eyes and tried to comprehend the inability to comprehend, I tried to experience nothingness. Of course I could not, because the essence of nothingness, or death, is the fact that it is never experienced. Afterwards, we were asked to imagine eternity. I imagined sitting in heaven with my family, friends, perhaps observing the planet and the endless toiling of life. I imagined a future so distant that everything I knew and loved became irrelevant. The idea of the planet became so detached that I couldn’t see myself relating to it. Again, I failed to grasp the notion of infinity; however, I realized that I didn’t want to exist in such a state. The discussion continued on some aspect of animal rights, but my mind was focused on the inevitable experience of death. If I feared the concept of nothingness, and was disinterested in eternity, what end could satisfy me? Before I examine the end, I would like to clarify what I believe about its counterpart—life.

I have never been too keen on the idea of suffering in this life in order to secure admittance to heaven. Did God really create mortal life to tempt people into pleasure, only to damn them if they indulged? I love the quote in Sullivan’s preface, “put away anxious thoughts about food and drink to keep you alive, and clothes to cover your body. Surely life is more than food, the body more than clothes.”[1] However, I disagree with part of its message. Yes, spirituality is important to me, and the image of a loving and all-knowing God is comforting and something I cherish. I want to live my life in a good, respectable way that God and I will deem worthy. Where I differ is in the total glorification of the afterlife. Life is not only more than food; life is more than death. There are so many beautiful things on the planet that I find it dubious to dismiss them as “worldly.” The trend Sullivan observes, that many religions “emphasize otherworldly goals and rejected this world as corrupting”, is something that choose not to believe. In my mind, life here on earth may be trivial compared to the eternity of heaven, but it is something that can be beautiful.

THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THEN MONEY...RIGHT?

When I was young I thought that there was a distinct heaven and hell. My faithfulness and careful observance of the Catholic dogma was the only surefire way to get in, and I thought that God was judging my every move. This belief is frightening and stressful to me, even today. As I grew older, my views changed. The idea that God is immovably just conflicted with the description of him as a loving and forgiving entity. Ben Gibbard also noted this in his song, “I Will Follow You into the Dark”, saying “They told me ‘son, fear is the heart of love’, so I never went back.” In high school, I read the book On a Pale Horse. It was written by Piers Anthony, it is about a man who becomes the incarnation of Death, or the grim reaper. In the novel, sin was determined by what each person believed; that is, if someone acted against their moral code, then it appeared as a sin on their soul. This view interested me because it accepts all religious views, even atheism, as valid ways to live life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIOHUR2TWPU
BEN GIBBARD'S SONG, I WILL FOLLOW YOU INTO THE DARK.


So, assuming that I can follow my beliefs and live this life full of love and happiness, what would my ideal ending be? More importantly, can I choose what it is? Phillip Pullman, author of The Golden Compass series, has an interesting concept of death. When spirits die, they dissolve and become part of everything on the earth. This parallels environmental ethics, which states that we should have a “moral consideration for inanimate things such as rivers and mountains, assuming pain and suffering to be a necessary part of nature.”[2] If we become a part of everything when we die, that gives us all the more reason to respect and love the mortal life of flesh and bone. Another interesting view of the afterlife is presented in the film, American Beauty. At the end, there is a narrative explaining death. The character explains that the second that your life flashes before your eyes actually feels like an eternity, and one cannot help but revel in the beauty of life and everything they’ve experienced. Although each of these views is interesting, I find it strange that I often try to choose which one appeals to me the most. We will never know what the afterlife is, if there is a God, or our death will resemble the one we believe every other living creature experiences.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYrgHju3d-E

THIS SCENE WAS A SURPRISINGLY UPLIFITNG END TO AN OTHERWISE DARK MOVIE. IT ALSO ILLUSTRATES A VERY POETIC WAY TO THINK OF DEATH.

It is interesting to imagine what would happen if someone managed to “prove” religion. In Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, Mercerism, humanity’s religion of sorts, is proven to be an act. “Mercerism is a swindle. The whole experience of empathy is a swindle,”[3] an android states. J.R. Isidore, a human character, proceeds to have a panic attack and hallucination. Would the same thing happen today? The essence of faith is that one believes without knowing. Jesus even scolds the apostle Thomas who only believes in the resurrection after he feels Jesus’ wounds. Regardless of one’s faith, it is important to remember that everyone is essentially clueless. The sheer number of religions on the planet show that there isn’t one moral code that satisfies everyone’s beliefs. Although I may never follow the vegetarian code, “Thou shalt not kill for food,”[4] I am trying my best to follow the moral code I believe in. In the end, this is all we can really do. What happens after that isn’t up to me, so I may as well not dwell on it.
[1] A 96
[2] A 100
[3] DADOES 210
[4] A 110

Reaping What They Sow

When I was young, the only time I thought about the future was either for Christmas or my birthday. Long term goals typically involved finding a good snack to eat during a cartoon show. Emotions dominated actions, desires and motives; it may as well have been the end of the world when my mom wouldn’t let me have another pack of gushers. Snyder captures the essence of childhood perfectly when he describes the realm of the “primitive”: “Having no concern with history…no overriding social goals…such people live vastly in the present.”[1] In fact, most of my earliest memories involve immense satisfaction for very simple things. I can vividly remember eating the end piece of a French bread loaf, while watching Shaggy on Scooby-Doo do the exact same thing. The emotional connection obviously had a profound effect on me. Another memory from many years back (well, relatively—I am only 19) that still gives me warm and fuzzies was acting like Mortal Combat characters in the snow with my older brother. It was rare for him to want to play with me, and the remnants of gratification for being included still move me when I think of it today. At my current age, if I were to derive the same amount of pleasure from eating the same food as a cartoon character, I would most likely be teased. I guess we learn to suppress our emotions.

SUB-ZERO WAS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER--PROBABLY BECAUSE HE WAS MY OLDER BROTHER'S FAVORITE TOO.

As a boy, I did encounter the social pressure described by professor Bump. Crying was a definite sign of weakness, and I developed the ability to stifle tears completely around fifth grade. It may have been the result of social pressure, but the “rule” of boys not crying was also something I wanted to follow. After years of practicing this rule there are very few things that can make me even think of crying. I feel like this could have been the first step I took to end, and even reverse, growth in my emotional intelligence. Social standards emphasize the scholastic intellect over emotional awareness; there are no classes that teach empathy or self reflection until college. As a result our society as a whole seems to be more detached. People go to therapy to try to figure out why they are depressed, but even our solutions mimic what is causing the problem in the first place—drugs that neutralize peoples emotional capacities certainly help prevent feelings of depression, but they also eliminate happiness. One of my good friends quit taking her medication because she said she couldn’t “feel” anything. She said she hadn’t felt happy about anything for the past two years. The standards we hold ourselves to intellectually seem to have a similar effect. When will we stop taking the drugs?

THIS DUDE STARTED A WEBSITE CALLED "REAL MEN DON'T CRY"...JUST ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF WHAT WE GROW UP THINKING.

The complex spectrum of emotions that we comprehend are what separate us from animals. Crows, for example, exhibit remarkable problem solving skills considering the size of their brains. They can learn tricks and vocal patterns through repetition, much like a third grader learns their multiplication tables. However, a crow will never contemplate how it or its peers feel emotionally. In Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, emotions are the only thing that separate people from the robots. However, Rick Deckard was convinced that his fellow bounty hunter, Phil Resch, was an android. He was disturbed by Phil’s lack of empathy for an android, saying “[It’s] the way you killed Garland and then the way you killed luna.”[2] Phil’s ability to detach himself from his job caused Rick to question Phil’s humanity. What, then, would Rick have thought about a slaughter house worker? Phil, and many people today, are simply practicing what they are taught to from a young age. Maybe the answer in animal cruelty doesn’t involve making people feel for animals, but reminding them that deep down they already do. Hopefully I will be able to use P3 to regain a connection with my emotional intelligence—I know it will help me appreciate life to its fullest.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jF_0tZdbqo

THIS FIGURED OUT HOW TO MAKE A HOOK TO GET SOME FOOD. QUESTION: IS THIS MORE OR LESS HUMAN THAN IF IT WERE TRYING TO HELP ANOTHER INJURED BIRD?

[1] A 194
[2] DADoES 137

Mersault

I FELT LIKE THIS DUDE...A VERY MILD VERSION, BUT A VERSION NONETHELESS.

At the beginning of last semester I drifted through the days in an unfamiliar emotional state. For the first time I found myself lacking any type of feelings—good or bad. After reading the excerpt from “The Man Without Feelings”, I realized that I had been in a milder state of Gary’s alexithymia. I could identify perfectly with his statement, “I have no strong feelings, either positive or negative.”[1] This mindset was disturbing and frustrating, but it seemed like I couldn’t escape; anytime I sat and tried to figure out was going on, I would eventually lose the train of thought due to apathy. When I tried to explain it to people the closest example I could come up with was Meursault from Camus’ The Stranger. This was ironic and embarrassing for me because when I read that book, I abhorred that character. Luckily I am back to normal, though remnants of the alter ego remain and are probably what allow me to have a “chill” state of mind.

LIFE IS EASIER WHEN YOU'RE CHILL--AND MUCH LESS FULFILLING.

The transition into this colorless mood was slow and unnoticeable. It started during my senior year of high school about the time of college applications. As I reflect on it now, I realize that it was most likely a defensive reaction to the stressful time. College applications are pretty disturbing if you think about it; someone determines your overall worth by simply looking at test scores, grades, and an essay. It is disturbing because it doesn’t seem possible to do, yet it determines a profound part of one’s life. During this time I was careful to not get my hopes up too high. I wanted to get out of state, but this would require a hefty amount of scholarships—the kind where the chances of winning them are depressingly slim. In order to protect my emotions, I adapted the mindset that I didn’t care anymore. This soon transferred to my opinion of high school. Grades were suddenly less important and being number one was an afterthought. This technique is effective, but the consequences are unnerving. Not only was my life less enjoyable, I likely appeared to be aloof to others. Rick Deckard despises this quality in androids, and when he describes the demanor of the andriod he is hunting he says that "[It's] always the same: great intellect, the ability to accomplish much, but also this. He deplored it."[1.5]

I TURNED INTO A ZOMBIE TO PROTECT MYSELF. IT WAS GOOD UNTIL I REALIZED THAT I WAS A ZOMBIE.

In a sense I became an android myself. Instead of working to achieve my emotional goals I got into the habit of simply trying to make do with what happened, whatever that happened to be. Even my ability to have compassion was dampened—although I could pity my friends, I was never really “moved…by the desire to relieve it.”[2] As a result, life was much less disappointing, but inevitably less exciting. Even when I found out that I received the Dedman Scholarship, I had no real feelings about it. The only thing I had was “now what?” It was hard for me to make any decisions with confidence because I had no emotional response to the situations. Because of this I was never sure if I was “happy” with my decision to attend UT.

I WOULD OFTEN TELL PEOPLE HOW HAPPY I WAS WITH MY DECISION, BUT IN REALITY I FELT LIKE THIS OLD GUY.

Luckily my emotions have been returning to me. Maybe it’s because of this class, or maybe it’s because I’m returning to a comfortable emotional state, but I have realized my priorities in life and am slowly moving towards my new goals. In response to the prompt, I am not sure if I would have considered myself “human” during this period in my life. Today, I am working towards leading the most human and fulfilling life I can. It is much more enjoyable to have these goals, and I hope I don’t lose touch with my emotions again.

[1] A 62

[1.5] Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, 100
[2] A 41

My Response To Nature

YES, THESE ARE EDIBLE. AND QUITE TASTY.

Every year in the fall, my friend, Nate, and his family invites me to Chama to go mushroom picking. We look for Chanterelles, a bright orange species that is considered a delicacy. I don’t consider myself a big mushroom fan, but each year the trip is amazing. The scenery in northern New Mexico is epic; the hiking alone is worth the three and a half hour drive. Each time I go I am thrilled by nature’s resilience. Packs of deer move silently through the trees, hawks and eagles quietly patrol the skies, and the streams are full of river trout. How can these animals arise out of the chaotic elements and thrive without human intervention? I see dogs that look ratty and starved trotting through streets, the obvious result of bad owners. But the deer looks powerful and frightening, the eagle is clean and graceful, and the fish are abundant. It is then that I realize that mongrels are not foreign elements in a city, but that cities are foreign elements in nature. The superiority complex that is taught to us by everyday observations tells me that the health of animals is dependent on human intervention. This is far from the truth. It is during these trips, or any exposure to raw nature, that I realize how ignorant I have become.

NORTHERN NEW MEXICO--YOU CAN SEE WHY I DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE MUSHROOMS. THE HIKING ALONE IS AMAZING.

Nature is essential to a healthy life. Nearly everyone you ask will mention that exposure to its beauty is soothing. In Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, animals are rare and coveted, and to own one is as satisfying as it is dangerous. “[People] will knock you off to get a hold of [your animal],” describes one character[1]. It is hard for us to imagine people killing each other to get an animal, but in the future it may not seem so extreme. Even today rare animals sell for thousands of dollars, and lucrative businesses are tapping into this strange market. So why is nature so important to us? One thing that I think many people fail to realize is that humans are still animals. The definition is pretty clear, “anything living,”[2] but we sill forget. Intellectually we may be superior to our fellow inhabitants, but our instincts are still the same. Like Derrida explains, the only difference between humans and animals is that we think they are “naked.”[3] The irony is that by dressing ourselves and building shelter from the elements, we are not only protecting ourselves from nature but separating from it as well.

IMAGES LIKE THIS MAKE ME REALIZE HOW EXTREME OUR MANIPULATION OF OUR ENVIROMENT HAS BECOME.

Separation seems to be a common theme when it comes to animals. Yes, we yearn for nature hikes and walks through the park, but we also separate ourselves from the parts of nature that we don’t like: consumption. I do have leather belts, and when I received it I was more impressed by the stamps in it that by the cow that produced it. However, my lack of disgust is not the result of a lack of compassion-it is the result of our society’s lack of exposure. Breaking tails, starvation, and the tragic working conditions at Indian tanneries is depressing to watch. After witnessing these things on film, I have a different outlook on leather products. I do have “the desire to alleviate the suffering” of the cows[4]. So where am I going with all of this?

I’m not even sure myself. I am in a position where I know the horrors of animal cruelty but am powerless to stop it. Even if I bought cloth belts and never ate meat again, the inertia of our culture would be unchanged. People do not see the logic in Bentham’s argument, that though we can dominate animals, there is no “reason why we should be suffered to torment them.”[5] We are quickly approaching a point where our actions will have irreversible consequences, but I have this hunch that we will merely react to the situation. That is, we will desperately try to fix the problem after it appears instead of taking measures to prevent it. I may have a defeated view, but it is not an unreasonable one. Maybe the solution is to get people to see the same way as me. Instead of images of chopped up pandas, what if we focused on images of pandas in the wild? What if we made efforts to get people to love hikes instead of sitcoms, parks instead of restaurants, and cows instead of hamburgers? Maybe, just maybe, that would make enough of a difference. We’ll see.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95-NPelTTas

THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS, BUT THE IMAGES ARE ALSO A REMINDER OF WHAT IS AT STAKE IF WE DON'T START RESPECTING NATURE.

[1] Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep pg.11
[2] A 34
[3] A 22
[4] http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/compassion
[5] A 47

Darwin vs. Existentialism

Humans are in a unique position because of our advanced brains. At some point in our evolution, our minds surpassed the mental capacity of every other animal on the planet. The result was increased survivability due to innovation, cooperation, and increased adaption. The trend continued, eventually leading us to our situation today: sophisticated social behavior and cooperation that has allowed us to achieve amazing feats. Every modern comfort that we take for granted is amazing if we look at it from a primitive perspective. A book, for example, requires paper, printers, and binding (a process that uses machines that are amazing in their own right). Books are filled with a written form of our language (a language that is complex and precise), and whoever can read the words learns the thoughts of the author—thoughts that range from trashy vampire-romance novels to calculus equations and theories. Humans perfectly illustrate “the law of Mutual Aid,” and prove Kropotkin’s observations that “[cooperation], for the success of the struggle for life, and especially for the progressive evolution of the species, is far more important than the law of mutual contest.”[1] Ridley made a similar observation, stating that "the most successful animals, indeed, seemed to be the most cooperative." [2.5]In fact, we have eliminated all of our natural competitors, increased the carrying capacities of our environments, and create comforts for ourselves to such dazzling extremes that we disgust each other.

BUILDINGS ALWAYS REMIND ME OF WHAT PEOPLE ACCOMPLISH WHEN THEY WORK TOGETHER.

SCENES LIKE THIS REMIND ME THAT I AM NON-ESSENTIAL PART OF THE UNIVERSE.

Sometimes when I feel particularly small (usually after stargazing in a place without light pollution), I realize how pointless everything we do is. Life, and by life I mean the contorted and self-constraining form that we have created for ourselves, is a constant struggle for something we don’t quite understand: happiness. Even those who are in a position to gain happiness tend to redefine it until what they have isn’t even close to enough. The Milky Way has the unnerving ability to show me how stupid everything is. That homework assignment, grades, money; all of it will go away when I die, and even the memory of my existence will fade away as the people that loved me die. The entire human race will eventually die from something random and pointless, like a meteor or the sun exploding, and everything that everyone thought was so important will fizzle out in some alien’s night sky.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuM9oauZVxY

ALTHOUGH THIS IS A RIDICULOUS SCENARIO, IT WOULD BE THE PERFECT END TO OUR STRANGE EXISTENCE.

During these moments I find that I lose my competitive drive. It is at these times that I realize my true biological purpose, that my function is to “[reproduce] genes, and serve as their temporary carrier.”[2] I revel in the absurdity of life. Seriously—sometimes I even laugh. However, this state of mind does not last for very long. Eventually I realize that even if happiness is merely chemicals being released in my brain, even if all of my hard work and the gratification it brings is pointless, these things I do are enjoyable, and I may as well enjoy it. I yearn for the small voice that Carnagie mentions; I want it to whisper those exact words. “he…is soothed and sustained by the still, small voice within, which, whispering, tells him that, because he has lived, perhaps one small part of the great world has been bettered just a little.”[3] If I do fight, if I claw or suffer, it is because I realize that even though life is fleeting and pointless, I may as well enjoy it. And for me, this doesn’t mean I will act only to better myself—helping others does bring satisfaction. Though people may be “motivated by feelings of solidarity or selflessness” to help each other out, in the end the main reason we help out our peers is because it brings us pleasure. It is for this reason that I feel many people, including myself, are not controlled by desires to become the fittest.

THIS PERSON, WHETHER THEY REALIZE IT OR NOT, IS DERIVING PLEASURE FROM HELPING OUT HIS FELLOW HUMAN.

[1] Darwin 400
[2] Darwin 409
[2.5] Darwin 518
[3] Darwin 398